Muslims say Jesus is Coming

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Surprised? It's true. Essa (as) as we call him WILL, indeed, return. Here's an explanation of what we believe, better than I could ever put it! What will happen? How will it happen? Whether christian or muslim, you're bound to enjoy this.



Subhaan'Allah !

What is love?

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


Time flies, and when I look again, I'm almost 40. Where did time go? Where did life go? The person I am today is so very, very different to the person I thought I'd be, growing up. I think if we live life with our eyes open, we remember every moment, or most, that marks us. I know I do. I'm more comfortable with the me that I am than with the me I thought I would be, or thought I wanted to be.

I'm grateful for all the lessons that have softened me, that have moulded me, that have brought me to this place where I can learn without feeling as though being wrong is a threat to myself. Youth does that - it makes us want to defend ourselves from anything and anyone that shows us the error of our ways. I'm not talking about youth in years, but youth versus maturity.
I've learnt to learn, learnt to argue with myself, to debate, to seek, to be wrong, to be right with grace, to speak, and above all, I've learnt the value of silence. Sometimes being silent is the only right choice. NOT speaking your mind can save you many tears but SUBR is not an easy thing to do; that patience plus endurance plus faith...I've learnt, also, what is love, for me.

And what is love, to me - human love? Love is so "commonplace" nowadays. It's easy to say I love you, easy to use the word "love" in many different contexts. To me, love is a singluar experience, it is a feeling, an attitude, and a choice that determines what you say and how you say it because when you love someone you do not use your words as weapons or as manipulation. LOVE, to me, means loving not just with my heart, but my soul, it is enduring difficult times because you know the love is worth it. It is rejoicing in good times with every fibre of my being, no holds barred. LOVE, is the quiet moments between a man and a woman who are one in the eyes of Allah, and saying nothing - it is feeling that glorious sense of "all is right with the world" which flows from the divine through our soul to touch the other person.
Love, is expressed by the eyes more than by words, but words are necessary. Love is expressed by the soul more than by the body, yet the body is an exquisite method of expression within the halaal.

Love is, essentially, the reason for creation; Allah loves beauty and creates beauty, loves growth and allows growth, loves US and sees in us all the potential he placed there. LOVE is the heartbeat of the world, in my opinion, and the love of our Nabi (saw) for his Ummah means we are able to draw near to the creator.. So, for the next 40 years, I make duah that Allah be with me, increase me in love and increase love in me and in those I love. From love, flows growth, and kindness, and, insh'Allah, peace.
To love ALLAH is the greatest love. To love his Nabi (saw) is to recognise Allah's love for the world.
Subhannallah.

I am humbled. By Allah. and by Love.

Why say NO to Christmas?

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

It is the "Silly Season" and let's face it, it's no secret that christians are so divided among themselves that they cannot agree on even the most basic of principles from wether or not a woman can preach to wether a christmas tree is "scriptural". There's no need to re-invent the wheel and try to find the answers to various christmas related questions. So here's an article written by a christian to christians, regarding christmas. Erm... need I say more?


PLEASE NOTE: I do not advocate the beliefs the writer advocates, I include extracts of his article here, simply because it is well researched and basically shows how the bible itself speaks against "christmas"..

All rights of the extracts of this article to its author David C Pack .

"Catholic Encyclopedia, 1911 edition, under “Christmas”: “Christmas was not among the earliest festivals of the Church…the first evidence of the feast is from Egypt.” Further, “Pagan customs centering around the January calends gravitated to Christmas.” Under “Natal Day,” Origen, an early Catholic writer, admitted, “…In the Scriptures, no one is recorded to have kept a feast or held a great banquet on his birthday. It is only sinners (like Pharaoh and Herod) who make great rejoicings over the day in which they were born into this world” (emphasis mine).

The Encyclopedia Americana, 1956 edition, adds, “Christmas…was not observed in the first centuries of the Christian church, since the Christian usage in general was to celebrate the death of remarkable persons rather than their birth…a feast was established in memory of this event [ Jesus's birth] in the fourth century. In the fifth century the Western Church ordered the feast to be celebrated forever on the day of the Mithraic rites of the birth of the sun and at the close of the Saturnalia, as no certain knowledge of the day of Christ's birth existed.”

It was 300 years after Christ before the Roman church kept Christmas, and not until the fifth century that it was mandated to be kept throughout the empire as an official festival honoring “Christ.”

Can "Christ" Be Honored by Christmas?

The most common justification that one will hear regarding Christmas is that people have replaced old pagan customs and intents by asserting that they are now “focusing on Christ.” I have heard many say that they are “honoring Christ” in their Christmas-keeping. The problem is that God does not say this is acceptable to Him! Actually, He plainly commands against it! Keeping Christmas dishonors Christ! He considers everything about it to be an abomination! We will soon see why.

"Christ" said, “But in vain they do worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men” (Matt. 15:9). Christmas is not a command of God—it is a tradition of men. "Christ" continued, “Full well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your own tradition” (Mark 7:9). Every year, throughout the world, on December 25th, hundreds of millions do just that!

We will see that God plainly commands, “Follow not the way of the heathen.” But most people do not fear God, and He allows them to make their own decisions. Human beings are free moral agents—free to obey or disobey God! (...)

Was "Christ" Born on December 25th?

"Christ" was born in the fall of the year. Many have mistakenly believed He was born around the beginning of winter—December 25th! They are wrong! Notice the Adam Clarke Commentary, volume 5, page 370, New York edition: “It was custom among Jews to send out their sheep to the deserts about the Passover [early spring], and bring them home at the commencement of the first rain.” The first rains began in early-to-mid fall. Continuing with this same quote: “During the time they were out, the shepherds watched them night and day. As…the first rain began early in the month of March-esvan, which answers to part of our October and November [begins sometime in October], we find that the sheep were kept out in the open country during the whole summer. And as these shepherds had not yet brought home their flocks, it is a presumptive argument that October had not yet commenced, and that, consequently, (Jesus) was not born on the 25th of December, when no flocks were out in the fields; nor could He have been born later than September, as the flocks were still in the fields by night. On this very ground, the nativity in December should be given up. The feeding of the flocks by night in the fields is a chronological fact…See the quotations from the Talmudists in Lightfoot.”

Luke 2:8 explains that when "Christ" was born, “there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” Note that they were “abiding” in the field. This never happened in December. Both Ezra 10:9-13 and the Song of Solomon 2:11 show that winter was the rainy season and shepherds could not stay on cold, open fields at night.

Numerous encyclopedias plainly state that "Christ" was not born on December 25th! The Catholic Encyclopedia directly confirms this. In all likelihood, "Christ" was born in the fall! A lengthy technical explanation would prove this point.

Since we now know that December 25th was nowhere near "Christ's" actual birthdate, where did the festival associated with this date come from?

Now read this quote under “Christmas”: “In the Roman world, the Saturnalia (December 17) was a time of merrymaking and exchanging of gifts. December 25 was also regarded as the birthdate of the Iranian mystery god Mithra, the Sun of Righteousness. On the Roman New Year (January 1), houses were decorated with greenery and lights, and gifts were given to children and the poor. To these observances were added the German and Celtic Yule rites when the Teutonic tribes penetrated into Gaul, Britain and central Europe. Food and good fellowship, the Yule log and Yule cakes, greenery and fir trees, gifts and greetings all commemorated different aspects of this festive season. (..)” (Encyclopedia Britannica, 15th ed., vol. II, p. 903).

A final quote about the selection of December 25th as the birthdate of "Christ" is necessary. Note an article in The Toronto Star, December 1984, by Alan Edmonds, entitled, “We owe a lot to Druids, Dutch”: “The Reformation cast a blight on Christmas. By then, of course, clever ecclesiastical politicians had adopted the Pagan mid-winter festival as the alleged birthdate of Jesus, of Nazareth, and thrown in a few other Pagan goodies to make their takeover more palatable.”

December 25th was not selected because it was the birth of "Christ" or because it was even near it. It was selected because it coincided with the idolatrous pagan festival Saturnalia—and this celebration must be carefully examined. In any event, we do not know the exact date of "Christ's" birth. (...)

What About Santa Claus?

Parents reason that they owe the whole Christmas myth to their children! Christmas traditions are focused primarily on kids, and they are certainly the center of most of what happens. I know because I kept seventeen Christmases. My older sister and younger brother and I were the recipients of much and the givers of very little on that day—and it all started with the Santa Claus lie.

Some years ago, a priest in New Jersey told his Sunday school class that Santa was a myth. The outrage from parents and his supervisors was swift. He had “killed Santa!” He had “destroyed family tradition!” He had “usurped family authority,” the article continued. He was officially censored by his superiors for being “overzealous and insensitive.”

His crime? He told the truth!

According to Langer's Encyclo-pedia of World History, (article “Santa”), “Santa” was a common name for Nimrod throughout Asia Minor. This was also the same fire god who came down the chimneys of the ancient pagans and the same fire god to whom infants were burned and eaten in human sacrifice among those who were once God's people.

Today Santa Claus comes from “Saint Nicholas.” Washington Irving, in 1809, is responsible for remaking the original old, stern bishop of this same name into the new “jolly St. Nick” in his Knickerbocker History of New York. (Most of the rest of America's Christmas traditions are even more recent than this.) “Old Nick” has long been recognized as a term for the devil.

In Revelation 2:6 and 15, we read about a “doctrine of the Nicolaitanes,” which Christ twice tells His Church “[He] hates.” Let's analyze the word Nicolaitane. It means “follower of Nicholas.” Nikos means “conqueror, destroyer.” Laos means “people.” Nicolaitanes, then, are people who follow the conqueror or destroyer—Nimrod. If you have believed that following Christmas is an innocent Christian custom, let this truth sink in!

Is It "Scriptural" to Exchange Gifts?

Merchants regularly report that over 60% of their annual retail sales occur during the Christmas shopping season. This represents a tremendous amount of gift buying. Most today believe that gift-giving comes from the Bible example of the “three wise men” (the Bible gives no number) presenting gifts to Christ. Is this true? Where did exchanging gifts come from, and what does God's Word say about it?

The Bibliotheca Sacra states, “The interchange of presents between friends is a like characteristic of Christmas and the Saturnalia, and must have been adopted by Christians from the pagans, as the admonition of Tertullian plainly shows” (Vol. 12, pp. 153-155).

Like every other aspect of Christmas, the shocking truth is that even this supposed Christian custom does not come from the Bible. It is an irony that people love to believe they are following the custom of the wise men giving to Christ, when actually they are giving almost exclusively to each other! What hypocrisy! Christ is completely forgotten.

The Bible actually teaches that Christians should not keep birthdays. Numerous scriptures make this principle clear. (...) However, what if you went to a birthday party that had been prepared for you and everybody gave gifts to each other and you were left out? The idea is ridiculous! If this happened, you would say that people were being selfish and forgetting you. In fact, most people give to others on Christmas merely because they expect to receive gifts themselves!

Let's briefly return to the “wise men” who gave gifts to Christ. The scripture describing this is Matthew 2:1-11: “Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is He that is born King of the Jews?…And when they were come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto Him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.”

It is commonly supposed that these were birthday presents for “baby Jesus.” But is this what the Bible actually says? Absolutely not! First, it is important to note that they did give the gifts to Jesus. They did not stand in his presence and exchange gifts among themselves or give them to others. The gifts were “presented unto Him.” Also, they arrived well after his “birthday.” This is another reason these could not have been “birthday presents.” (...)

Origin of the Christmas Tree

No article about Christmas is complete without some explanation of the “Christmas tree.” We have touched on it without directly focusing on it. The modern Christmas tree originated in Germany. But the Germans got it from the Romans, who got it from the Babylonians and the Egyptians.

The following demonstrates what the Babylonians believe about the origin of the Christmas tree: “An old Babylonish fable told of an evergreen tree which sprang out of a dead tree stump. The old stump symbolized the dead Nimrod, the new evergreen tree symbolized that Nimrod had come to life again in Tammuz! Among the Druids the oak was sacred, among the Egyptians it was the palm, and in Rome it was the fir, which was decorated with red berries during the Saturnalia!” (Walsh, Curiosities of Popular Customs, p. 242).

Frederick J. Haskin's Answers to Questions states, “The Christmas tree is from Egypt, and its origin dates from a period long anterior to the Christmas Era.” Did you know this—that the Christmas tree long preceded Christianity?

Most aspects of Christmas are not referred to in the Bible. Of course, the reason is that they are not from God (The reader should remember this article was written by a christian writer, not by the blogger yesimmuslimdealwithit) (...) The Christmas tree, however, is directly mentioned in the Bible! Turn to Jeremiah 10:2-5, “Thus says the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen…For the customs of the people are vain: for one cuts a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.”

This plain description of the modern Christmas tree is clear. (The bible )directly refers to it as “the way of the heathen.” Just as directly, He commands His people to “learn not the way of the heathen,” calling these customs “vain.” Verse 23 adds a remarkable and powerful statement: “O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walks to direct his [own] steps.” God must teach people how to live. Man simply cannot figure out God's ways for himself. (Note from yesImMuslimDealwithit - please read this again - Christians will tell muslims that they do not need laws because they are set free.. so no, I'm not agreeing with the writer in all he says, but I want readers to note what christians themselves say about christmas - their OWN bible denounces it.)

There is no room in Jeremiah 10 to believe, as some have tried to suggest, that because these trees are powerless of themselves, it is not really forbidden to have a Christmas tree. God condemns the putting up of pagan (Christmas) trees with this plain Bible command!

The Source of Holly Wreaths, Yule Logs and Mistletoe

The Encyclopedia Americana states, “The holly, the mistletoe, the Yule log…are relics of pre-Christian time.” In other words, paganism! The Yule log was commonly used in a rite of Teutonic nature worship.

Frederick Haskin further states, “The use of Christmas wreaths is believed by authorities to be traceable to the pagan customs of decorating buildings and places of worship at the feast which took place at the same time as Christmas.”

The Encyclopedia Britannica, under “Celastrales,” exposes the origin of the holly wreath: “European pagans brought holly sprays into their homes, offering them to the fairy people of the forests as refuge from the harsh winter weather. During the Saturnalia, the Roman winter festival, branches of holly were exchanged as tokens of friendship. The earliest Roman Christians apparently used holly as a decoration at the Christmas season.”

There are dozens of different types of holly. Virtually all of them come in male and female varieties—such as “Blue Prince and Blue Princess” or “Blue Boy and Blue Girl” or “China Boy and China Girl.” Female holly plants cannot have berries unless a nearby male plant pollinates them. It is easy to see why the holly wreath found its way into pagan rituals as a token of friendship and fertility!

Christmas is incomplete to many unless it involves “kissing under the mistletoe.” This pagan custom was natural on a night that involved much revelry done in the spirit of drunken orgies. Just like today, this “kissing” usually occurred at the beginning of any modern Saturnalia/Christmas celebration. I will never forget having to always kiss my friends' mothers upon entering each of their houses every Christmas. It was the first thing that we did. I hated it—but it was something I “had to do”! Mistletoe was considered to have special powers of healing for those who “reveled” under it.

The Encyclopedia Britannica, under “Santalales,” states, “The European mistletoe is thought to have had special ritual significance in Druidical ceremonies and lives in folklore today, its special status as the Christmas mistletoe having come from Anglo-Saxon times.” Mistletoe is a parasite that lives on oak trees. (Recall that the Druids worshipped in oak tree groves.) The ancient Celtics (associated with the Druids) used to give mistletoe as an herbal remedy to barren animals to make them fertile. It is still referred to as “all healer” in Celtic. (Yesimmuslimdealwithit comment - and yes, it is a medicinal herb, but it should not be used for any spiritual purpose for only ALLAH heals!)

Like mistletoe, holly berries were also thought to be sacred to the sun god. The original “sun log” came to be called the yule log. “Yule” simply means “wheel,” which has long been a pagan representation of the sun. No wonder people today commonly speak of the “sacred yule-tide season.”

What Should You Do?

Finally, let's examine what God told His people they should do and the way they ought to teach their children.

Human beings do not want to obey God (Rom. 8:7). They would rather follow their own “imagination.” They do not understand that God wants their lives to go “well.” He wants happiness, joy and blessings to flow into people's lives. All these are the results of obeying Him.

God inspired Moses to warn parents of the grave responsibility that they have in what and how they teach their children. Notice His instruction in Deuteronomy 6:1, 6-7, 20-21, 25: “Now these are the commandments…which the Lord your God commanded to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you go to possess it…And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart: And you shall teach them diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up…And when your son asks you in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord our God has commanded you? Then you shall say unto your son, We were Pharaoh's bondmen in Egypt; and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand…And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us.”

God took Israel out of Egypt—out of the customs of the world around them and revealed His Law to them. He does not want His people going back to the traditions, customs and ways from which He has called them. (note by yesimmuslimdealwithit - the writer sounds like a muslim, doesn't he? After all, he's basically saying one should submit to the laws of Allah, as written in the thorah, right? Submission to Allah's will, to the will of God, has a name - its translated in arabic as "ISLAM".)

When all of the interconnected traditions, filled with the symbolism of worshipping an ancient pagan, humanly devised god, are taught, this is not worshipping the true Creator.

The prophet Isaiah was inspired to write, “Cry aloud, spare not, lift up your voice like a trumpet, and show My people their transgression” (58:1). I have done this.

Notes from yesimmuslimdealwithit - why would the writer weep for the transgressions of the christians, aren't christians free from all transgressions because of "the cross"  - oh wait - the cross is also a pagan symbol - !!
Wether you are christian or not, christmas is not. Wether you are christian or not, you should not be hanging up christmas trees, exchanging gifts or participating in anything remotely christmassy. May our muslim brothers and sisters who participate "FOR THE FUN OF IT" take heed - Shirk is not a game, and since christmas is actually orignated in PAGAN and IDOLATROUS beliefs, is it not, then, idolatry? May Allah guide us all, and grant us the truth, always, for truly if the christians believed that the truth would set them free, they would seek the truth. CONVENIENCE is not the same as faith.

Things that go BUMP in the night..

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


JINN

Geenies, Poltergeists, shapeshifters, fairies, goblins, ghouls, spiritual mediums, psychics, and apparitions. The world is fascinated with all that appears paranormal. There are dozens of societies and associations out there which try to communicate, exhorcise, attract or manipulate what they explain as spirits of the dead, demons, etc. If the truth will set you free, then what ARE these, in reality?

The Holy Quran tells us that in the beginning God created man, yes, but unlike other religions, the full picture is disclosed. You see, Allah (who is ONE God, the ONE that IS) did indeed create Adam (as) from dirt (dust, clay), but first he created two other types of beings; angels, and jinn. Angels are made of light. Even a young christian will tell you that angels are gender-less beings with NO choice or self-will. In both christian and Islamic faith, angels are both beautiful and fearsome beings that protect mankind and carry out the will of God. Angels have no self-will, the bible says. Hence, they cannot "Fall from grace" or the idea of "no self-will" would actually not stand. Nonetheless, that's a topic for another day.

We know what humans are and we know what angels are. So what are Jinn? Jinn were created before Adam (as). They were made of smokeless fire, are a "people" with choice to follow good or evil, and live within our world, unseen unless they choose to be seen. Like humans, they can be muslim,christian, hindu, etc. etc. etc. but unlike humans, they can shapeshift, and unlike angels, they CAN fall "out of grace" because they CAN choose to disobey Allah. Jinns are typically MASSIVE creatures (yes, you may think Nephalum from the bible with their six fingers and toes and their gigantic appearance)

Paranormal societies have for many years tried to find out if there are such things as those mentioned in paragraph 1; yet the answer to alllll these questions lies openfaced in the Quran..


Question: What are demons?
Answer: Jinn who have chosen to follow the shaytaan (devil, also a Jinn, because angels don't fall - they can't..)

Question: How do fortunetellers know what has happened?
Answer: Jinn - they can move through the dimensions and they evesdrop on people, situations, and even conversations among angels- they evesdrop on instructions given to angels.

Question: But I saw my dead grandfather/uncle/aunt - was it them?
Answer: no, it was a Jinn - they are shapeshifters. (There is another alternative - souls that hover because they die a tragic death or have committed suicide - a topic for another day)

Question: what are hauntings, poltergeists, ghosts, moving tables, chairs, etc?
Answer: Jinn manifestations. Jinn, like humans, can be playful, naughty, evil, deceptive or kind..human personality qualities exist in Jinn, too..

Question: Where do Jinn live?
Answer: In amongst us, in a "parallel" dimension. If we can see 3D and cats can only see 2D, how can you deny what's in 4D? - Scientists are discovering how to "see" 4D.



Makes sense, doesn't it? Do posessions exist? yes. How? There is a jinn "companion" to every human being - but this is a subbject for another day. How much senseless time is spent chasing ghosts!! Mediums can thus be people who are able to "see" or "hear" jinn; but it is far more likely that because of their propensity to believe in the "paranormal" they are chosen by Jinn as people to whom they manifest. Why? Well... didn't pride come before the fall?.. indeed..
Jinn taught mankind all sorts of things; magik, spells, good and evil. Who built the pyramids? Aliens? Jinn, more likely.

Can Jinn be enslaved to man? - ah.. now that is a question worth asking. Yes. They can. They can be trapped, and unfortunately they can also choose to work for evil people with evil intentions. Why would they do that? Because, if the intent of the devil (shaytaan) is to mislead mankind, that what better distraction is there than sorcery, fortune telling, and even outright witchcraft. Man has a greedy side, a proud side. "Two paths lay ahead, life and death - choose life" Is that not what the bible says? LIFE was given by Allah, so choosing to submit to Allah's will, to go to HIM to ask for help or advice is to seek to make Him a companion. Where there is TRUTH, LIGHT and LIFE, the fruit of our life is good and pleasing. How do we know if we are in LIGHT and LIFE? Well, if we submit to the will of our Creator, who is light and life and truth then we are, indeed, of the rightly guided.

What is the verb (not noun) for "Submitting to the Will of the Creator"? - there is a word, it is ISLAM, directly translated as submitting to the will of the Creator. That's all Islam is; an explanation of life, and a guide for life. SO simple, and we complicate it by questioning every aspect of it. Does that will allow you to murder or commit suicide? NO. Does it say you're allowed to mess with Jinn? No.

More on Jinn in a future blogpost. For now.. here are extracts from the Quran and Sunnat.

"And I (Allaah) created not the jinns and humans, except they should worship Me (Alone)." [al-Dhaariyaat 51:56].

"O assembly of jinns and mankind! Did there not come to you Messengers from amongst you, reciting unto you My Verses...?" [al-An'aam 6:130]

The world of the jinn is an independent and separate world, with its own distinct nature and features that are hidden from the world of humans. Jinns and humans have some things in common, such as the possession of understanding and the choice between the way of good and the way of evil. The word jinn comes from an Arabic root meaning "hidden from sight". Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"...Verily he [Shaytaan] and his qabeeluhu [his soldiers from the jinn or his tribe] see you from where you cannot see them..." [al-A'raaf 7:27]

Allaah has told us in His Book the essence from which the jinn were created. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And the jinn, We created aforetime from the smokeless flame o fire." [al-Hijr 15:27]

"And the jinns did He create from a smokeless flame of fire." [al-Rahmaan 55:15].

According to a hadeeth narrated by 'Aa'ishah, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The angels were created from light, the jinn were created from fire, and Aadam was created from that which has been described to you." (Reported by Muslim, 5314).

Chains that bind

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

In cases of abuse, it is not uncommon for the abused to stay in the situation for prolonged periods of time (sometimes indefinately) for reasons ranging from fear of society to fear of the abuser to fears instilled BY the abuser that the children will not be looked after, etc. etc. It is also true as studies have shown that when the abused or abuser leaves for any period of time (or permanently) there is an adjustment period akin to drug withdrawal. Why? Because the victim has become wrapped in the tentacles of oppression so far that when the pressure is off, they have "phantom pains".. the chemicals are out of balance. This is why psychological abuse is worse than physical. Bruises heal. Emotions and the psyche may never recover..

To help victims regain their balance and sense of self-worth one must seek first to help them understand the chains that bind, then let them decide. AFter all, why would they stay? What binds them? These chains that bind are called Traumatic Bonding.

Traumatic bonding is defined as “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.” (Dutton & Painter, 1981). 

As any abused person will know, the abuser seeks to control, undermine and dictate life (pretty much) to the abused. The cycles of abuse followed by kindness create a cycle of altered chemical states and emotional states, a "rollercoaster" if you will, to which the abused may become accustomed and even, chemically, addicted. Victims "need" the drama, eventually, and this simply contributes to more abuse. One of the biggest lies of the Shaytaan, I believe, is that anyone deserves abuse or anyone must stay in an oppressive environment. I will be posting an article documenting several studies on abuse recently undertaken for men who are abused by their partners. In the meantime, ARE YOU TRAUMATICALLY BONDED? Take this self-help test.. (Copyright to Patrcik Carnes, Ph.D.) Answer yes or no to the questions..

Traumatic Bonding Self Test

By Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

The following are a series of statements which describe traumatic bonding in which a person bonds on the basis of betrayal. The result is what we call a "betrayal bond". Check each "Yes" response as appropriate.

 

1)Do you obsess about people who have hurt you even through they are long gone?

2)Do you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain?

3)Do you go "overboard" to help people who have been destructive to you?

4)Do you continue to be a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive?

5)Do you continue attempts to get people to like you who are clearly using you?

6)Do you trust people again and again who are proven to be unreliable?

7)Are you unable to retreat from unhealthy relationships?

8)Do you try to be understood by those who clearly do not care?

9)Do you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away?

10)Do you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen?

....

11)Are you loyal to people who have betrayed you?

12)Do you attract untrustworthy people?

13)Have you kept damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse?

14)Do you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility?

15)Do you find yourself covering up, defending, or explaining a relationship?

16)When there is a constant pattern of non-performance in a relationship, do you continue to expect them to follow through anyway?

17)Do you have repetitive, destructive fights that are no win for anybody?

18)Do you find that others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not?

19)Do you obsess about showing someone that they are wrong about you, your relationship, or their treatment of you?

.....

20)Do you feel stuck because you know what the other is doing is destructive, but you believe you cannot do anything about it?

21)Do you feel loyal to someone even though you harbor secrets that are damaging to others?

22)Do you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?

23)Does someone's talents, charisma, or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive, or degrading acts?

24)Do you find you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?

25)Do you find yourself missing a relationship, even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful it almost destroyed you?

26)Are extraordinary demands placed on you to measure up as a way to cover up exploitation?

27)Do you keep secret someone's destructive behavior because of all of the good they have done or the importance of their position or career?

28)Does your relationship have contacts or promises that have been broken which you are asked to overlook?

29)Are you attracted to "dangerous" people?

30)Do you stay in a relationship longer than you should?

(PLEASE SEE BELOW FOR FURTHER QUESTIONS)

If you have answered yes to several of these questions, you may want to schedule an initial assessment to explore further any concerns that were raised.

For more information about Insideout Living, Inc. and therapy options, visit

http://www.insideoutlivinginc.org.

Traumatic Bonding Self Test

By Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

Provided by

Insideout Living, Inc.

1618 Orrington Ave., Ste. 202

Evanston, IL 60201

(847) 328-7588

info@insideoutlivinginc.org


MY QUESTIONS to you, having read the above, are this:

1) Do you fear the abuser more than Allah?
2) Do you believe you will be powerless to help your children because of this abuser? IF so, read question 1 again.
3) Do you fear loosing what you have worked for because of this abuser? IF so, read question 1 again.
4) Do you think there is nothing you can do to get out? IF so, read question 1 again.

5) Do you trust your own ability more than you trust ALLAH?
6) Do you keep hoping things will change, because you don't want to face the alternative, the community, the aloneness? IF so, read question 5 again.
7) Do you fear that its too late to start over? If so, read question 5 again.
8) Do you believe no-one will love you if you let go and walk away? If so, read question 5 again.

9) Do you believe the Shaytaan, or do you believe ALLAH is AL RAHMAAN, AL RAHEEM?
10) Do you fear the abuser will destroy your reputation with your kids/your community/your family? If so, read question 9 again.
11) Do you fear that it will take too long/ be too difficult/ to start over, away from the abuser due to your age/their finances/family/community? If so, read question 9 again.

12) Do you believe the abuser is right about you, do you believe you are worthless, incapable, unable to live/thrive/ have dignity without them? IF SO - YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR KALIMA,  If ALLAH does not allow oppression, who are YOU to allow it, even over your OWN self, which is given to you in Amaana?

Please note - I am a women. I am not an abuser. Lots of us aren't. Lots of us are. Chose carefully.

ALLAH

QURAN

MUHAMMAD (saw)

HADITH

SUNNAT

then.. subr.. IN THAT ORDER.

NOT under the Mistletoe!

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

There are so many illnesses nowadays, in my opinion often exascerbated by modern chemical-based medicines. There is much that has yet to be discovered in terms of natural cure, for if Allah does not give a hardship without an ease, then it is safe to say that He does does allow an illness without having given us a cure, and the mind to find it, IF we wish to seek HIS healing. Besides duah (and there are many for healing)

Setting aside the pagan use of a herb that has found its way into supposedly christian celebrations in all sorts of wierd, non-Jesus (Essa as) - Mistletoe is not very well known and yet it contains SO much shifa or "healing" .  With all you will find out in this post, I hope you will be convinced that it mistletoe should be "inside, not on top!"

It's botanical name is Viscum Album, and its commonly referred to as European Mistletoe or Bidlime Misletoe. For those who've never seen it, here's a picture: NOTE the leaves - this is NOT HOLLYHOCK with its jagged edges and bright red beads. This is EUROPEAN MISTLETOE!!

 

Mistletoe  is a parasitic plant, actually. It grows on trees and those growing on Oak, Poplar, pines, fir and fruit trees are said to be particularly healing. It looks like a ball of bushy leaved and is actually an extremely important herb. It bears some fruit; whitish sticky berries who's seeds are distributed by birds who eat the fruit but cannot digest the seed. The interesting thing about these seeds, (AllahuAkbar!) is that they simply do not germinate if they are collected and planted - they HAVE to go through a digestive tract before they are able to germinate.

 

Supposed to be "poisonous" (or so dubbed by the pharmaceutical industry) mistletoe has been used since before the middle ages this plant has been held as one that removes evil and in years gone by. In ancient times it was cut by Druids from a tree, using a golden knife. (hmm.. rather Christmassy, don't you think?) Once the leaves and twigs are cut and dried, however, they loose all medicinal healing. The berries, indeed, are poisonous if taken internally. The twigs and leaves are not.

 

It is said by Maria Treben (an old herbalist) that drinking Mistletoe regularly for six months will cause diabetes to lose its original cause and rectify hormonal imbalance. For this, sip on at least 2 cups a day, morning and evening. Many chronic illnesses will benefit from Mistletoe.

 

 

Its benefits:

remedy for epilepsy

remedy for chronic cramps

As an ointment, cures frost bite and chilblains

benefits the entire glandular system

Aids the metabolism

assists the pancreas

Prevents strokes

Treats strokes if taken immediately after  and then regularly - after a stroke, take 3 cups a day for 6 weeks, and 1 cup for 2 weeks. (cup one taken half hour before breakfast, second cup before and ater lunch (half and half) and 2rd cup before and after dinner)

Remedies hardening of the arteries

Staunches blood

stops nose bleeds when used cold, if drawn up into the dose

arrests lung and intestinal bleeding caused by typhoid or dysentry

THE best remedy for heart and circulatory complaints

lowers high blood pressure (gets rid of that annoying buzzing in the ears and visual defects)

raises low blood pressure

Soothes and strengthens the restless heart

Eases stress

treats lethargy and fatigue

treats dizziness and heart flutters

believed to treat LAZINESS!

Cures uterine and menstrual disorders in women

Treats heavy menstruation and bleeding after confinement

Treats heart palpitations

Treats difficulties in breathing

Treats hot flushes and anxiety during menopause

        Maria Treben wrote: "Mistletoe tea, drunk for a few years, brings relief and you will pass through the change

                                                 naturally."

Aids fertility

         Maria Treben wrote: " The fresh juice of Mistletoe, 25 drops in water on an empty stomach before breakfast

                                                and 25 drops in water in the evening before going to bed will remedy barrenness in 

                                                      woman."

 

3 Cups of Mistletoe made as a cold "tea" or infusion and sipped throughout the day will normalize your heart and circulation and guarantees and increased productivity.

 

In general, Mistletoe tea should be drunk for six weeks, once a year; 3 cups for 3 weeks, 2 cups for 2 weeks and 1 cup for 1 week. Blood pressure and circulation will have recovered after this. To keep it that way it is of benefit to keep on drinking 1 cup in the morning for a year.

Maria Treben wrote:
"A gentleman from the district of Mainz (Germany) suffered from low blood pressure for years, sometimes so badly he was unable to work. He had tried different doctors, but still he was no better. He was very sceptical about my advice that Mistletoe lowers high blood pressure and raises low blood pressure. It was April and the Mistletoe still had its healing powers. A few months later, during a talk I gave in Upper Austria, he sat in the first row and told everyone that now his blood pressure was normal."


Some time ago an announcement appeared in the London press that three independently working research groups came to the conclusion that a high percentage of women over 50 years of age developed cancer of the breast, if they have, for treatment of high blood pressure, taken blood pressure reducing medication over a long period.
Why take this risk, when we have our valuable Mistletoe? Lately, Mistletoe is used medicinally to counteract and prevent cancer.

DIRECTIONS: Infusion: Mistletoe tea is made as a cold infusion. A heaped teaspoon of Mistletoe is soaked in 1/4 litre of cold water overnight, the next morning slightly warmed and strained. If a larger amount per day is needed, the tea is kept in a thermos flask that has been rinsed with hot water, or warmed in a water bath each time.
Tincture: This is bought as a preparation.
Fresh juice: Fresh leaves and twigs are washed and, still wet, put into the juice extractor.
Ointment: The fresh berries of the Mistletoe are stirred into the cold lard (used for chilblains).

Source: Maria Treben's book "Health through God's Pharmacy"

Understanding BULLIES

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Another superb article from heart2heart. In order to live lives with some sense of sanity, its critical that we understand how it is that bullies yield the power that they do! Heart2heart offers incredible insight into these personality deviant individuals and is intelligently and authoratatively written. DO visit their website or refer anyone to them who is being bullied - parents of bullied children, employees being bullied and/or abused spouses can learn a great deal from this site! All credit to  http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/save-yourself/bully-primer-5.htm (the pictures between are my own addition)

 The 4 Primary Types of Bullies

Profiling serial bullies... The profile of a serial bully covers the most commonly-reported behaviours of serial bullies. From casework, Tim Field has been able to identify four primary types of serial bully.
The bully wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that go with enjoying the benefits of the adult world.

The Attention-Seeker

Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; when held accountable, very high

• emotionally immature
• selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest
• is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention
• overfriendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
• overhelpful, ditto
• overgenerous, ditto
• manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner
• manipulative with guilt, ditto
• sycophantic, fawning, toadying
• uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side
• everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama
• prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention
• capitalises on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention
• exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention
• misappropriates others' statements, eg anything which can be misconstrued as politically incorrect, for control and attention-seeking
• excusitis, makes excuses for everything
• shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged
• lots of self-pity
• often as miserable as sin, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving
• demanding of others
• easily provoked
• feigns victimhood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears or claiming they're the one being bullied and harassed
• presents as a false victim when outwitted
• may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution
• malicious
• constantly tries and will do almost anything to be in the spotlight
• includes Munchausen Syndrome
• the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention

The Wannabe

Motivation: craves respect for being competent and professional despite lacking in competence and professionalism
Mindset: deceptive
Malice: low to medium; when held accountable, medium to high

• similar to the attention-seeker
• is one of life's chronic underperformers and is best described as ineffectual in everything
• craves undeserved respect and attention and will go to considerable lengths to acquire them
• hangs around the fringes of a profession
• not professionally qualified but claims they are a professional because they sit next to a professional or work alongside or near or in the midst of professionals, or provide services to professionals
• lacks the ability, competence and professionalism to be a qualified professional
• wants so much to be seen as competent professional person but is unable and unwilling to put in the work to achieve this
• is unable and unwilling to apply knowledge gained from experience but instead devotes time and effort to improving skills of deception, manipulation, false claim, denial and projection
• may have been rejected by their chosen profession for lack of competence
• is spiteful towards and despises anyone who is qualified in the profession from which the bully has been excluded by virtue of lack of competence
• is likely to be vilifying the profession they want to belong to or which they're claiming to be part of or which they are claiming to represent
• displays a deep-seated envy and jealousy of the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve
• harbours a bitter resentment, grudge, distaste and contempt for the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve
• is likely to be criticising, condemning, disadvantaging and causing detriment to the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve
• may seek positions of power over the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve, perhaps to facilitate a compulsion to criticise, condemn, disadvantage and cause detriment
• is irresistibly drawn to organisations, roles and positions which offer the wannabe power and control over the professionals s/he despises (eg inspection regimes, approval roles, regulatory bodies, ticksheet compliance schemes, political correctness police, trade union official, etc) - and is often described as a talentless jobsworth
• when in a position of power associates with and makes alliances with or surrounds him or herself with clones, drones, minions, fellow wannabes, sycophants and brown-nosers
• instinctively objects to any suggestion of change, reform, improvement, progress or evolution, but has no viable or positive alternatives of their own
• opposes every idea, suggestion, opinion, contribution or reform on principle but has no original, positive, constructive ideas or contributions of his or her own
• is likely to plagiarise and steal others' ideas which are then put forward as their own
• may place undue emphasis or reliance on an old, minor or irrelevant qualification to bolster their claim of belonging to or deserving to belong to a profession
• may claim ambiguous or misleading or bogus or fraudulent qualifications, associations and experience
• displays a superior sense of entitlement because they associate with or serve higher performers
• emotionally immature
• controlling
• easily provoked
• when challenged is adept at rewriting history to portray themselves as competent, professional and successful, regardless of multiple witnesses and overwhelming evidence to the contrary
• quickly and loudly feigns victimhood when exposed and held accountable, often repeatedly and loudly accusing the person holding them accountable of being a bully
• when held accountable makes conflicting and contradictory threats and demands (eg demands apology but orders the other person not to communicate with them)
• when held accountable makes lots of loud but empty threats (eg of legal action such as libel, slander, defamation etc)
• only carries out threats of legal action when in the presence of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type
• may indulge their jealousy and envy of professionals or those they claim to serve by pursuing vindictive vendettas, sometimes with the help of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type
• is easily manipulated and controlled by a superior serial bully
• female wannabes may be arch bullies (some people might call them puppetmasters or queen bees)
• may surround herself with drones of the opposite sex
• may exploit some perceived vulnerability in self to ensure drone loyalty
• gives the appearance of loyalty to drones but will discard them when they've served their purpose
• is likely to have affairs to gain power, status or position

The Guru

Motivation: task focused
Mindset: confusion, inability to understand how others think and feel
Malice: zero to low; when held accountable, low to medium (it's often the absence of malice that identifies a guru type of serial bully) but could be medium to high if narcissistic or psychopathic traits are present

• often successful in their narrow field of expertise
• regarded as an expert
• valued by the employer because s/he brings in the money, status etc
• ruthlessly pursues objectives regardless of the cost
• ruthless determination to succeed
• can be successful over the medium term in their field
• task focused
• zero people skills
• control freak
• mainly but not exclusively male
• often has a favourite who receives extra attention but who is expected to reciprocate with sycophancy
• favours, protects and promotes non-threatening sycophants whilst marginalizing and hindering the advancement of those with higher levels of competence, especially in people skills
• apt to betray those formerly favoured, especially when the favoured person starts to show independence of thought or action, or starts to receive more attention or become more popular than their mentor
• a male Guru in a position of power may exhibit inappropriate sexual conduct
• gauche, aggressive and unpleasant but not evil
• may not be overtly attention-seeking but dislikes those around them getting more attention than they're getting, or getting attention which doesn't include the bully
• selfish, self-centred, self-opinionated, dogmatic and thoughtless and with a tendency to pontificate
• apt to throw temper tantrums when things don't go well or can't get their own way
• emotionally immature, perhaps emotionless, sometimes cold and frigid
• convincingly intellectualises feelings to compensate for emotional immaturity
• intelligent (often highly) but lacks common sense
• is happy to lie to suit own purposes
• can have a rigid routine
• does not accept responsibility for their own behavior
• blames others for own inadequacies
• refuses to recognise that they could have any shortcomings of their own
• does not live in the present
• usually extremely neat (for example, desk is always clear)
• organized (sometimes overly)
• tempts fate but always gets away with it
• has stereotypical ideas about gender roles (though this may not be expressed consciously)
• makes assumptions about others' thoughts
• does not follow social rules, for example may display bad table manners in public
• appears unable and unwilling to engage in and sustain small talk
• seems unaware of the nature and purpose of rapport
• seems to exhibit some symptoms similar to autism, although autistic people tend to be shy, introspective and lack manipulative skills and are usually the targets of bullying, not the perpetrators (it's unknown whether there might be a common cause or whether the similarities are just a superficial coincidence) [more on autism]
• appears unable to read people and their thoughts and especially feelings
• when held accountable exhibits genuine confusion as to why their behaviour is inappropriate
• in cases where malice is low or absent the person my be regarded as somewhat avuncular or mildly jovial or charismatic in nature
• likes the appearance of normalcy but rejects responsibilities of relationships
• is unable to comprehend or meet the emotional needs of others
• often puts work and duty above everything, including relationships
• makes power plays, for example leaves the room when someone is speaking, or pretends not to hear and constantly asking a person to repeat what they just said, etc
• doesn't share information about self (thoughts, insights, etc) and is not open to receiving this type of information from others (allegedly knows it all already) secretive
• possessive of objects and sometimes people
• may view people as objects (this enables controlling behaviour of other people)
• thinks of self as superior and above the law / rules / regulations etc (these only apply to other people)
• uses denial as a defence mechanism
• there are likely to be problems with succession

The Socialised Psychopath or Sociopath

Motivation: power, gratification, personal gain, survival
Mindset: manipulation, deception, evil
Malice: high to very high; when held accountable, off the scale
Also known as the corporate psychopath, workplace psychopath, industrial psychopath and administrative psychopath.

• Jekyll & Hyde personality
• always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath's position
• excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is)
• excels at evasion of accountability
• is extremely and successfully manipulative of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger)
• silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including a top barrister) in verbal conflict
• will often engineer himself or herself into a position of authority as gatekeeper of the organisation and thus the person through whom all information must flow, and the person to whom all requests for services must be referred - which he or she then takes delight in denying
• is adept at offering weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but who lack the necessary competencies to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees, pawns and expendable agents of harassment
• identifies those essential to the sociopath's survival and manipulates their perceptions them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection
• manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath's game
• is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behaviour best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses
• creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention
• is contemptuous of disrepute to their organisation and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties
• is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organisations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides
• despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organisations, families and communities, the actions of a socialised psychopath may go undetected or unrecognised for years
• a history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognise the sociopath for what he is
• only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behaviour be fathomed and the consequences calculated
• is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralising and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath's mask of sanity
• at all times restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements
• pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable
• is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish accusers regardless of relevance, logic, facts or consequences
• persists in and pursues vindictive vendettas using self-evidently false evidence or information, even after this is brought to the attention of the sociopath
• will often manipulate minor bullies of the Wannabe type (who on their own might or would not merit the label 'serial bully') into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors of vendettas
• is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person's instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment
• gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict
• once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings' instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples' adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction
• revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people's distress
• when faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath's true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish
• is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto their accusers
• is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath
• has no limits on his or her vindictiveness
• the need to control, manipulate and punish develops into an obsession with many of the hallmarks of an addiction
• is skilled at mimicry and can plausibly and spontaneously regurgitate all the latest management jargon
• exhibits minimal professional skill level and competency
• exploits his or her intelligence to excel at talentless mediocrity
• is always identifying the behaviours and strategies to which other people respond with the desired effect
• is able to anticipate and credibly say what people want to hear
• is easily able to win people over before betraying them or deceiving them or ripping them off
• easily manipulates and bewitches an immature or naive or vulnerable or emotionally needy person to be their spokesperson or agent of aggression
• exploits anyone who has a vulnerability
• is pushy and extremely persuasive
• is sexually inadequate and sexually abusive
• is likely to protect anyone accused of or suspected of sexual abuse of pedophile activity, and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person
• maybe associating with, or actively involved in, abuse or pedophile activity
• has no emotions, no emotional processing capability and no ability to understand other's emotions
• is incapable of understanding, initiating or sustaining intimacy
• the male sociopath has often convinced a string of women to feel they are in love with him and despite being treated abominably they blindly continue to be loyal to him and minister willingly to his every demand
• may start projects with apparent enthusiasm and energy but quickly loses interest
• frequently takes unnecessary and uncalculated risks but takes no account of consequences
• is reckless and untrustworthy with money
• is likely to be illegally diverting or siphoning off significant sums of money to his or her own budget, project, account or cause
• is unreliable and untrustworthy in every facet of life
• is likely to be leaking confidential information or secrets to third parties
• is likely to have committed or be committing criminal or near-criminal offences, eg fraud, embezzlement, deception
• is likely to have committed or be committing breaches of harassment and discrimination law, employment law, contract law, etc
• disregards rules, regulations, Health and Safety requirements, professional standards, codes of conduct and legal requirements, etc
• cannot comprehend the deeper semantic meaning of language and is thus unable to understand or appreciate metaphor, hyperbole, irony, satire etc (these elicit either zero response or a hostile response)
• likes, seeks, enjoys and relies on procedure, ritual and ritualistic practices
• through arrogant overconfidence takes increasingly risky chances and eventually overplays their hand or makes a mistake which leads to the sociopath revealing him or herself
• exhibits parasitical behaviour, takes everything and gives nothing
• grabs headline credit for minimal, flukey or other peoples' success whilst surviving off the backs of manipulatees who are exclusively blamed for all failures
• rarely blinks, may have stary scary eyes that cut right through you, or may avoid eye contact completely
• is callous, cold and calculating
• is devious, clever and cunning
• is ruthless in the extreme
• regards people as objects and playthings to be discarded when surplus to requirements
• displays zero empathy
• completely without conscience, remorse and guilt
• malicious and evil
• Continue reading this article about bullies...

[ Types of Serial Bullies © by Bully Online - Tim Field. Thank you for making this information available ]

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