A day in the life... (woman)

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

The blog entry below is not mine. I give full credit to the writer, who may be found at:

http://loveinshallah.com/2012/09/13/leaving-abuse/#more-1835  The story is so poignant and so sadly unusual that I felt compelled to post it. May it inspire and uplift, empower and assist, insh'Allah. Ameen  I shall be posting letters from others and how they have handled abuse, insh'Allah.

I leave here a rose for this muslim sister, because despite the thorns, she managed to tear her way out, to bloom again another day..

Here's her story:

"Maybe I’m being overly sensitive. Or maybe it’s that for the past two years people have tried to minimize what’s been happening, encouraging me to stay married. Or maybe I’m tired of living in secrecy and isolation and four years of mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically intimidating behavior.

How many times did my life need to be threatened or how many times did I need to be physically endangered by a vehicle or fist before it’s considered abuse?  Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to leave. I needed to accumulate enough incidents before others would count it as an abusive relationship.  I needed to have a rock solid reason to get divorced a second time – the first time from a man who cheated on me, and the second time because of abuse.As someone who has always looked at my role in things to figure out what I’ve done wrong, perhaps I needed that outside validation and acknowledgment before I could admit, even to myself, that I had somehow gotten into an abusive relationship, and that I continued to stay in it for the sake of others.

Because, you see, I don’t fit the stereotypes our community has of these types of situations.  I’m a good desi girl. I have an advanced degree and come from a suburban, professional, Muslim family.  I could be your friend, your niece, or the person you pray next to at the masjid.  And, abuse aside, my husband is also a decent guy from a loving and tight-knit, educated, suburban family.

These feelings and memories are being stirred up as I prepare to move tomorrow.  The last time I left my home it was urgent and hasty after a night where my life was threatened.  What was supposed to be a temporary separation lasted for 15 months.  I had only moved back in with him in mid-March when he kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night in early June.  And now September is here and I am officially, properly, and permanently moving out of “our” home.

Leaving this time feels very different.  I’ve built an amazing community in this city. I’m already missing all the friends I made and can so easily visit, the ability to always find some show or event to attend at a moments notice, the easy access to farmers markets, acupuncture clinics, yoga studios, etc.  I’m leaving a place where I had imagined a future.

Given all these challenges and emotions, I think I’m doing pretty well.  I have been feeling so much love from my siblings, friends, and a support system I’ve helped to create for myself, including my relationship with God.

Someone recently asked me how I’m still able to maintain prayer and faith through all of this. Although I could look at my circumstances as unfair, unjust or a punishment, I don’t.  I can honestly say that I am a better, more thoughtful, more considerate person because of everything I’ve been through.   I wouldn’t have grown in these ways without these trials, and know I’m going to be a better parent because of the insight I’ve gained.

Instead of blaming my parents, my ex-husband, or the world for my pain, I am choosing to focus on myself and something that’s actually within my control. I am taking ownership of what I experienced, to be able to name it for myself and for others in similar situations.

–

Maryam Abdullah is the pen name of a writer living on the West Coast

Portuguese pudding (halaal version)

And now for something completely different - my favourite recipes. This one is for a steamed pudding that turns out like a flan, but richer, thicker, and.. well.. YUMMIER! You will be surprised to know this is a BREAD pudding - "Pudim de pao"

So here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
4 eggs
200g sugar
500ml milk
5 slices of white bread
1 table spoon lemon juice
liquid caramel (or make your own, easy to do.. )
one slice of lemon rind (I just slice a quarter slice off the skin)


Method:
Remove the crust from the bread.
In a pot, place the milk, the bread and the lemon rind. Bring it to the boil, stirring continuously so that it does not burn. As soon as it starts to boil remove from the heat.
Remove the lemon skin and blend the milk/bread mixture until smooth and creamy.

In another dish, beat the eggs
Add the milk/bread mix. 
Mix well.
Add the sugar and lemon juice
Mix well.

Take a puding mould and coat it in caramel. Alternatively, melt a cup of sugar over medium heat until golden and use that to coat the pudding mould OR a normal cake tin.
Once coated, pour the pudding batter in carefully so as not to dislodge too much of the caramel - this is where the carmelised sugar works better!

If using a puding mould:
Place pudding mould into a large pot, and cover. Pour enough water into the pot to reach half way up the pudding mould. close the pot and cook for about 25 - 30 minutes. Open and check if cooked - once cooked, the pudding will be firm and well set, but not dry. If it sinks, you've cooked it too long!

If using a cake mould:
Once you've poured the pudding batter into the carmelised tin, cover the cake tin with an old pot lid or heat proof plate and place the tin into a large pyrex dish - fill the pyrex with enough water to reach half-way up the cake tin. Allow to cook until firm and well set, but not dry. If it sinkss in the middle you've cooked it too long.

ONCE COLD - turn out into a deep plate, as the caramel should be runny over the set, firm pudding. Serve cold, and always, always pour some of the caramel from around the pudding over the slice!
YUM!

 

Joining Partners

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Growing up as a catholic, I was often referred to one or another "saint" for one or other purpose. For instance, when going on a journey, I would be told to pray to the catholic saint Christopher (who was a real person once upon a time and helped travellers) and ask him for a safe journey. Somewhere along the line, the catholic principle of intercession had changed from praying to God and asking him "in the name of " a saint, to praying to the saint.

Islam is a religion of many holy people. Many so-called christian or jewish saints' burial sites are actually looked after by muslims. The tomb of David (Dawud as) for example, and many others. We look after this sites because we believe that respect for someone doesn't stop at their death, it extends to their memory. But this is another topic. Regardless of looking after the tomb of a saint or pious person, we do NOT, in Islam, pray to anyone BUT the ONE living, self-subsisting, eternal God, the ONE that was, that is, that evermore shall be. The ONE with no beginning and NO end. That word "ALLAH" cannot be made plural, because it means "ONE GOD". It cannot be made female or male because it is neither male nor female. This is why regardless of what language we speak as muslims, we refer to that ONE LIVING and eternal and selfsubsisting Creator as "ALLAH" because the word ALLAH contains all this in it.

The entire belief of Islam is "Submission to ALLAH"  - on other words, we as muslims understand that the Divine Creator has a plan for each of us, and is so merciful that everything that happens to us works out for the best, even if we cannot see what that "best" is. Hence, we do not pray to Muhammad (uhbp)and we do not pray to saints. In other words, we make no partners and take no "help" from anyone BUT Allah in our prayers.

 

Bukhari Volume 6, Book 60, Number 24:

Narrated 'Abdullah:

The Prophet said one statement and I said another. The Prophet said "Whoever dies while still invoking anything other than Allah as a rival to Allah, will enter Hell (Fire)." And I said, "Whoever dies without invoking anything as a rival to Allah, will enter Paradise."

There are some religious sects out there who consider themselves christian but no christian would call him christian. Similarly, every faith has its diverging sects (usually at least one). In Islam, there are very few, perhaps one or two, but nonetheless those are the ones giving us and islam the bad press. For instance, flagelation of the human body - this is not islamic. Tattooin, suicide bombing, murdering, these are NOT Islamic practice nor does Islam condone the killing of innocent people or the altering of the human body, or the self-inflicted punishment the likes of which is portrayed on television. Media, is selective, and media gives what sells - sensationalism, planned and staged rubbish, essentially, which crowds looking for the next scape-goat swallow up by the bucket full! Allah grant them hidaya, insh'Allah.

Allah is ONE. God, is ONE. Yet even among muslims, shirk may infiltrate if we are not cautious. Most muslims read arabic even if they do not understand it, because it is "sunnat" (something done by the prophet (uhbp) ) and because it is the language in which the Quran was revealed. Bismillah (in the name of Allah) is said before a meal wether you are a muslim living in the antarctic, or a red indian converted to Islam. We have ONE God, ONE faith, ONE language, therefore. And then along comes a sect with a duah such as "Naad e Ali" and because it is an arabic duah and it is said to have been handed from Allah to the prophet Muhammad (saw) the inocent muslim may not question it. But the prophet himself (pbuh) said QUESTION - ensure everything you do meets the injunction of Islam - submission to ONE GOD - ALLAH.

For this reason, another label on this blog will now be "duahs". Because some duahs are simply not muslim. One must look to the roots of a tree to determine what fruit it will give for a thorn tree cannot bear sweet fruit (as per the Quran).

The Quran says:
Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds:No partner hath He: this am I commanded, and I am the first of those who bow to His will.Say: "Shall I seek for (my) Cherisher other than Allah, when He is the Cherisher of all things (that exist)? Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is towards Allah: He will tell you the truth of the things wherein ye disputed." (6:162-164)

it also says:
"'Those unto whom they pray [i.e., the saints] themselves seek avenue to their Lord's mercy, compete in coming closer to Allah and fear His punishment,' Qur'an 17:57

In the light of the above - can any muslim say that Naad e Ali (which means CALL out to Ali) is muslim?? Here is the english translation - I will not post the arabic lest a brother or sister actually make the duah (astaghfirullah)

Call Ali, who is Manifestor of wonders, Thou shall surely find him helper in your difficulties, all grief and sorrow shall be removed. I submit my temporal wishes to Thee on whom I trust and always referred Thee to bestow fulfillment of temporal wishes. O! Having Thee bestowed support, O! Thee Appointed Wali, All grief and Sorrows will disappear, By Thee by Thy tremendousness O! Lord, By Thee by Thy Apostleship O! Muhammad, - Blessings of Thee on Thy Apostle & descendants, By Thee by Thy granted Power & Authority of Wail, O! Ali, O Ali, O! Ali Help!

First, ALLAH has said make no partners and pray to NONE - yet this prayer says call to Ali, calls him a "manifestor of Wonders, a helper in difficulties, on whom one should always trust" - as a muslim, this upsets me. To be muslim means to follow the Nabi (pbuh) the FINAL prophet of Allah, and he said PRAY TO ALLAH ONLY, and Allah himself in the quran said do NOT associate any partners to Allah.

It doesn't require any form of piety to read the duah, understanding LA ILAHA IL ALLAH (there is no God but Allah) and know that this duah which some may say is islamic, is indeed not islamic. There is simple NO way around this one. Brothers and sisters, before making a duah, UNDERSTAND what it says, where it comes from (CHECK its authenticity) and then decide. The aakhira is too long a time to spend it in hellfire due to ignorance.. let's find out, let's seek only Allah, Insh'Allah! Ameen.

Tawassul is a topic needing much time - Intercession - but in every instance, it's about asking ALLAH, not praying to anyone else.