Friday, October 18, 2013

Fear, the Paranormal and Allah's Peace

Bismillahi Rahmaanir Raheem

Firstly, Jummah Mubarak.

Allah is Peace. This is one of his attributes. He is peace and he gives peace. Often people are afraid of what they think they see, or hear. I have posted before about Jinn, to which a whole chapter of the Quran is attributed (Al Jin). If Allah is peace, and the prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him), then what have we to fear? Allah is our provider, our nourisher, the beneficent, the merciful, the avenger, the just, he is Justice. He has and is every attribute that we will ever need, and yet, we sometimes have more fear of the paranormal than we have trust in Him. I'm not saying that we should not seek treatment for the paranormal; that would go against what I believe and what I have blogged and what the Quran and our Nabi (saw) has said. I am saying that fear of the paranormal, of "Jinn" can so consume people that it becomes their reason behind everything that goes wrong, as though Jinn or "the devil" have power to contravene any dictate of the Almighty Creator. Nothing, but nothing, happens without the say-so of Allah (swt). HE is the Omnipotent. To call him Omnipotent and then believe that anything else has more power than him is just a contradiction in and of itself.

However, Allah is also our Recourse, our Rescuer, our Defender. He is this and He says that He is this because he knows that there are things that will try to contradict his command. After all, He has given us choice. But if we understand that HE is our recourse, then those things which try to hurt us outside of Allah's command have no power because He rescues us at each turn.

I'd like to address the issue of fear of Jinn, because I have posted about them, and about Sihr and feel it is important to know that fear has no place and instead one should run to the assistance of Allah through what His Quran through His prophet (saw) has taught us to do.

Question: Why are people afraid of Jinn?


This is carefully analysed in the book Jinn and Human Sickness (copy available by email - drop us a comment) and four reasons are identified:

1) People are afraid because they lack knowledge of Tawheed  (the concept that there is only ONE God and nothing has more power than him.) This is the central reason of being of Islam, of monotheism. Anyone believing that anything has more power than Allah may be committing Shirk, attributing more power to something other than Allah. Remember, HE IS Omnipotent. All powerful, All knowing, EVER present. To fear anyone or anything alongside Allah or above HIS decrees can be said to be committing minor (or major, depending on the situation) Shirk.

2) Made up stories - people love stories about ghosties and ghoulies and especially as Halloween approaches the stories about "scary" and "paranormal" events increase. From cartoons to movies, everything is out to convice you that the boogie man is gonna get you! But the "Boogieman" is nothing unless Allah authorises him, and if the "Boogieman" tries to do or say anything, you just remind yourself that ALLAH is the boss of everyone, even the "Boogieman". We need to stop lending our ears out to stories that provoke fear, and then complain that the devil did it. No, he didn't. We did. We lend out the ears, and when they're full of trash, they start to affect our eyesight and we start seeing the boogieman (or Jinn) behind every bush.

A black cat is NOT necessarily a Jinn.
 



3) Witches, real or imaginary, in stories or the ones people visit to predict the future or to "get help" love to spread the stories of Jinn. They prey on your imagination. (One must distinguish between the witch and the Aalim who one goes to for the purposes of Rukhya or prayer healing. There are certain preconditions that an Aalim must meet in order to be credible and this is a subject for another post)

How do we treat the irrational fear of Jinni?



1. Remember Tawheed. Remember the Oneness of Allah. Remember Allah! Revisit and repeat the following within yourself:

La Ilaha Il Allah - there is no God but Allah
 
"Say (O Muhammad): I have no power over any hard or profit to myself except what Allah may do" (Surah Yunus. 10:49)
 
"Say, (O Muhammad to mankind): How do you worship besides Allah something which has no power to either harm or benefit you?" (Surah Al Maa'idah 5:76)
 
"Say: Who then has any power at all (to intervene) on your behalf with Allah, if He intends you hurt or intends you benefit?" (Surah Al-Fath 48:11)
 
"And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah. Then, when harm touches you, unto HIM cry aloud for help." (Surah Al-Nahl 16:53)
 
"And invoke not besides Allah any such that will neither profit nor harm you." (Quran. Younus 10:106)



 
It is clear from Quran and Hadith that mankind is superior to Jinni kid.


 
"And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the males among the jinn, but they (jinn) increased them (manking) in sin and transgression (Suran Al-Jinn 72:6)

In summary: know this:

Abu Umaamah said: The Prophet (saw) said: 'One hundred and sixty angels have been appointed over the believer to protect him from that which has not been decreed for him, including his eyes which are protected by seven angels as a vessel of honey is protected from flies. If a person were left to his own devices for even an instant, the devils would cause him a great deal of harm."


Ameen!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Male Bashing on the Rise

Bismillahir Rahamaanir Raheem


 
 



Nothing changes until those who see wrong begin to put a stop to it. I've posted a few blogs about spousal abuse of men, and recent stats show that this continues to rise.


Until men start to walk out, and people start to support them in starting fresh, this wretched problem will continue to grow. Abusers need to know that enough is enough. They need to experience what it is to be completely alone in order to appreciate what a gift it is to have someone who cares. Simply put, this is how I feel.

Enough of the excuses, enough of the "I don't want to get involved" and the "Oh but its not done in the community." Enough is enough.

In the UK, male spousal abuse has grown to such an extent that ONE in EVERY SIX MEN is being abused by their spouse.

I will keep blogging about this scourge until people start to stand up and get counted. If women are the "fairer sex" they need to stand up and shine their good light on this! Women's abuse is not tolerated, why should men's abuse be??



It is not as prevalent in America but it is there, with 15% of all reported incidents being against men. Bearing in mind that men are 80% less likely to report spousal abuse, you do the math. There is just too much abuse going around.  Here's just a few "highlights". (Full stories are available.)




A Seattle therapist who convicted of assault and required to pay a $500 fine, perform 100 hours of community service and have absolutely no contact with the woman says:
I was dumbfounded from the very start of the incident," the man says. "I was getting struck by this woman while I was holding my daughter and I was the one who called the police.

In Kelso, a man had been out drinking and came home to fall asleep on the couch. His wife took an iron skillet and beat him. He was taken to the emergency room of the hospital and stitched up. He was taken there by police, but no charges were filed against his wife.

My wife—in one of her drunken rages—took our daughter’s baseball bat and used it to smash the locked door to my study, where I was trying desperately to meet a deadline. And since I’m over 6 feet tall and muscular, I wouldn’t get much sympathy posing as a “battered man!”: I had thought of calling the police that night. When I recalled this incident to my divorce lawyer some time later, his response was: “It’s a good thing you didn’t, because the police probably would have arrested you.”

My son was married to a violent young woman for a few months before he left her. He is much larger than her and is a one time amateur boxing champion. She never used weapons, so she never came close to hurting him physically. But she hit him whenever she got the notion to, she cut up his clothes and threw them in the yard, she destroyed the trophies he had accumulated in various sports competitions since childhood, and she destroyed a wedding album my wife had made for them. Neither party was blameless, but the physical violence was all hers. If my son had ever hitten her, there would have been evidence for weeks.

I was in a hellish marriage with a woman who had difficulty controlling her rage, which would frequently erupt with her hitting, verbal abuse, and screaming. If fighting with her did occur, it was self-defense; if she threw a punch or kicked, I defended myself. In one particular case, after she initiated a fight by kicking and throwing punches, she called the police to report me as the violent abuser! When they responded, I was seen as the bad guy, she was the victim!

A man from Washington state---I am 6'2" and about 200 lbs. I have a solid background in wrestling and have dabbled in TKD and Judo. I am also a DV survivor. I am NOT a "victim"! ... I was awakened by her screaming as she came through the bedroom door swinging a baseball bat. She brought it down across my legs. I managed to avoid most of the blow and took the bat away from her by twisting it out of her hands. She went to the kitchen and got a marble rolling pin.

We've tried to find help for him but all of the shelters just answer in silence. It's a shame how he was treated by the police and that there are no shelters or groups to help men, they need it every bit as much as women. It's time to stop offering help to someone just because they are a women. Abuse is abuse, it does matter how the abuser is or how the abused is.

I know the terror that comes from domestic violence, in this case perpetrated by my mother.
   -- a Seattle man


I have been verbally and psychologically battered and abused, I've been threatened with bodily harm, I've been threatened to be shot right between the eyes, I've been kicked in the groin, I've had to watch while my ex sexually molested my daughter and not dare interfere for fear of retaliation. Then 1 day she called 911 so fast and had me arrested, my head was literally spinning with disbelief. When trying to tell the officer that I was provoked and that she was hurting my daughter and that I was protecting my daughter, he told me that I had better keep quiet, I'd charge you with a felony if I could, he said. .. So now what do i do?

She slapped the walls in the hall way. ... She hit me in the arm a few times, goading me to hit back. ... As you can see the above picture doesn’t’ show any gross domestic violence.




Wife became very angry and she attacked me with a set of Porsche Keys - maybe three inches long. she stabbed me thirteen times. As I was trying to leave, she took our daughter and tried to throw her down the steps

Although she had been physically aggressive in the past, she turned downright violent toward me. It started by hitting me with the phone, throwing objects at me, kicking and clawing. She drew blood a number of times. Under advice from my attorney, I was warned that even taking a defensive position could be seen as an act of violence toward her. The ONLY physical action I took toward her was to restrain her from hitting or biting or kicking me. She was an expert at falling down and screaming -- "see kids, look at what your dad is doing to me."

Here's the kicker. I am a mental health professional, social worker and marriage and family therapist. I had blinders on like most guys. I interpreted her behavior as emotional disturbance, and would often sit up all night trying to comfort her after one of these episodes.

my lawyer looked at me like I was crazy when I told him ...

Why did I take it? I had a daughter that was small that was also screamed at and hit, and scared by stories of the bugger man getting her. I finally had to leave or get killed.

My wife of almost 9 years was a woman of an incredibly short temper and possessed the ability to swing from mood to mood faster than you could shake a stick at. Over the years, she had thrown things at me, including knives, slapped me, punched me, and shoved me on numerous occasions. I had always felt a sympathy towards her because of the fact that she had no one in her life that truly seemed to care for her. I was going to be her protector.

I believed if this got around, their would be a stigma. Some embarassment toward ex wives and present lovers. I didn't want my kids to hear these stories, or to have others in their world, discussing me regarding this issue.

I still don't understand why I stayed in that relationship as long as I did. I quess it was because she was such a great girl in every other way and I hoped she would change. I'm never going to go back into that kind of insanity again.

Funny, at the time I told myself I deserved it.

I was awarded temporary sole custody of my three children and possession of the marital home. My ex-wife was in shock and refused to leave ... Her attempts to provoke an incident increased. Finally one morning she cornered me alone in the kitchen and again began to punch me out after a nasty verbal exchange. Unfortunately, my 10 year old son witnessed this episode through a window while he headed for his school bus. I did not strike back. My ex then left and went to the police.

I was abused too many times and decided to end the relationship many times but I was unable to do so. Because she followed my each and every move and I was reluctant to file stalking charges against her because I did not want to hurt her feelings. The abuse intensified, she did not hesitate to hit me ... She also clawed me numerous time and even cut me with a knife. I was again failed to report the incidents to the authority. Many times she had threatened me that if I bring any charges against her, she would not hesitate to bring false charges against me ...

Her definition of the proper way to conduct an argument was to slap me around until I stopped disagreeing with her. ... However, I was willing to put up with it for the sake of her kids...at least until she started endangering them. 

She was brassy, outspoken and told me she liked "big guys". I'm 6' and weigh in at 230. She held a knife to my throat and told me to get out of the apartment. I would not dare move because I thought she would kill me....she would tell friends very publicly why sex with me was difficult. She would later say it was meant to be a compliment...kidding about the size of my genitalia. I wasn't laughing. Every success I had was met with derision. Daily my shirts were ripped....my face was slapped...I was kicked....I was locked out. There was nothing I could do to make a difference. [After I left] she has told me repeatedly, "You're the only person who really understood me." The face I see as she speaks is still the one who held the knife.

Jack O' Lantern origins - What's in the pumpkin?

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

What's in a pumpkin? It's just a pumpkin! Have you heard that one before, just around the time of Halloween?

So here's what's in the pumpkin: The Jack o' Lantern.

If you're freaked out by this picture, good.
 
You should be!
This is the least of your worries if you practice carving and keeping Jack O' Lanterns.
 
"Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed. Quran 31:13"
 
"Those who reject (Truth), among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, will be in Hell-fire, to dwell therein (for aye). They are the worst of creatures." (al-Bayyina, 98/6).





The story starts in Ireland, and the legend tells of a miserly thief called Stingy Jack. Jack made a pact with the devil to avoid going to hell. Jack needed a drink; as in alcohol. So, at death's door, he met up with the devil one night and promised to go to hell if he could have a drink. The devil turned into a penny for him to buy his drink with. But he tricked the devil putting the coin in his pocket, and kept on going. Eventually the stingy man died, and heaven would not accept him of course. But, neither would hell, because the story goes, it wasn't his time. So he was destined to roam the darkness forever.

So Jack asked the Devil for a light to see by, and the Devil gave him a coal from hell, which he placed into a pumpkin (some stories say a turnip) and he "carries it around with him to this day to light his way to this day"

Personally, I don't think that any more needs to be said about this; just maybe a question begs asking: Do you really, really want to light the way for this evil spirit, to your home? Or, if you don't believe he's still roaming, do you really, really want to celebrate this story which is the ONLY origin of the Jack o' Lantern? Or, if you know this is the origin of the story and still don't care, do you still call yourself a muslim?



It's insane, to my mind, that any person who in any way is either Christian, Jewish or Muslim would want to participate in such a thing.

And the answer is: What's in the pumpkin? - Oh, just a stone from hell itself to light the way to a miserable soul. On the other hand, maybe its just the story of a man who sold his soul to the devil and you're just "imitating" him, like the "good follower" that you are!

Symtoms of Sihr


 



 


Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

It is the time of year when some societies celebrate Halloweeen, or "all Hallow's eve". I will blog about Halloween soon, insh'Allah. In the meantime, Halloween is a high point in the Satanic calendar, and at this time Sihr practice (the practice of Witchcraft) is unfortunately active. (Allah save us from indulging or being victim to such evil acts, insh'Allah!)

The temptation to attribute every small thing to the paranormal should be avoided. Yet, remember that there are distinct symptoms that can be attributed to being a victim of Sihr. These have been extracted from various writings.

Without further delay let's get on with the symptoms. (Please remember to use some discernment, if you have a recurring headache you may suffer from a physical illness, so always rule out physical illness by seeing your doctor first!)


1. Symptoms when one is awake:

1 - Turning away, in particular, from acts of worship and obedience, the remembrance of Allah (swt) (Dhikr) and reading the Qur'an.

Allah (swt) says: And whosoever turns away blindly from the remembrance of the Most Gracious (Allah (swt) (i.e. this Qur'an and worship of Allah (swt), we appoint for him Shaytaan to be a Qarin (a companion) to him. And verily, they (Shayateen) hinder them from the path (of Allah (swt) but they think that they are guided aright - (Al-Zukhruf 43:36-37)

2 - Erratic behaviour in one's words, deeds and movements.

Allah (swt) says: (Those who eat Riba will not stand (on the Day of Resurrection) except like the standing of a person beaten by Shaytaan leading him to insanity.) (Al-Baqarah 2:275)

3 - Seizures (with no medical cause); there are signs to indicate that a seizure has devilish causes.

4 - Paralysis of a limb (with no medical cause).

5 - Being quick to get angry or weep with no apparent cause.

6 - Sitting in the toilet for a long time, and talking to oneself.

7 - Constant headache with no medical cause, which is not eased by painkillers.

8 - Irregular menstruation in women.

9 - Not producing children although both husband and wife are medically sound and able to reproduce.

10. Depression. - Depression refers to intense sadness. It is a widespread mental illness, indeed one of the most widespread. As for mild sadness or feeling "blue", this is a normal and natural emotion which hardly anyone can escape, not even a believer.

Allah (swt) says: Secret counsels (conspiracies) are only from Shaytaan, in order that he may cause grief to the believers. - (Al-Mujaddilah 58:10)
If that sadness increases and takes over a person, it becomes depression.

Signs of depression:
- Feeling distressed and sad
- Loss of appetite
- Lack of focus, forgetfulness
- Sleep disturbances, weight loss
- Lack of sexual desire
There are other signs when one is awake, but they may be caused by other life circumstances, such as not succeeding in efforts to get married, repeatedly failing to do so etc.

2. Symptoms when one is asleep:

1 - Frightening nightmares, which includes seeing various kinds of creatures such as ghosts or apparitions, seeing oneself falling from a high place, seeing people in strange forms, and snakes. A man may see a woman who wants him to have intercourse with her (and vice versa) constantly in his dreams, or he may see someone threatening him.

2 - Insomnia, anxiety and fear upon waking.

3 - Talking loudly in one's sleep, or moaning and groaning.
Note: Use your common sense. Somnambulism is sleep walking or sleep talking. If the person is a sleep walker/sleep talker it does not necessarily follow that they are affected by Jinn or Witchcraft!Rukhya, and other symptoms, may help to identify the real cause, but the recitation of Quran over someone that is under a spell will always be uncomfortable, at least.

3. Behavioural Symptoms

For muslims who usually do not do these things (below), these may be signs of Sihr. Sometimes the muslim isn't even aware that they are in fact doing this; it is those around them who pick it up.
- Associating others with Allah (Shirk)
- Minor Shirk (showing off/ boastfulness)
- Bemoaning one's life continuously, and becoming angry with the divine decree
- Forgetting Allah and the Hereafter
- Feeling safe from the plot of Shaytaan and getting carried away in sin and relying on Allah's mercy
- Despairing of the mercy of Allah
- Thinking badly of Allah
- Deliberately telling lies about Allah and the Messenger of Allah (pbuh)
- Arrogance, self-admiration and showing off
- Loving to be praised for doing acts of worship
- Deceit, Hypocrisy, Greed, Stinginess
- Hidden anger, grudges and envy
- Turning away from people out of arrogance and scorning them
- Looking up to the rich and admiring them because of their richness, titles or posessions
- Fear of poverty
- Mocking the poor because of their poverty
- Competing in worldly gains
- Loving to be praised for what one has not done, and boasting about charity given out
- Being preoccupied with the faults of others whilst ignoring one's own faults
- Strong feelings for religions other than the religion of Allah
- Mocking the slaves of Allah, looking down on them and despising them
Not accepting the truth because it goes against one's own whims and desires, or hating those who speak the truth
- Rejoicing in sin and pesisting in sin
- Offending the close friends of Allah and taking them as enemies
- Showing evil behaviour and foul language so as to make people fear you and avoid your evil


To obtain a free copy of the full writing on "Understanding Sihr" please drop me a comment with your email address and I will send it, insh'Allah.