Happy Islamic New Year!

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


Tonight, the 14th of November 2012, marks the Islamic New Year. The Islamic Calendar is a Lunar Calendar. It is a time when the new year commences. How apt, then, I think it is, to speak of the passing of the year and how quickly time flies. How quickly, indeed, life flies. When we least expect it, it's over. Islam is not a faith that ignores death or lives in denial of it. If anything, death is seen as a part of life, an inevitable closure in the many chapters of each person's existance.

Today, in celebration of life, I want to talk about death. Yes, that's right. I've thought about it and that's what I want to talk about, because I believe that how someone dies is reflective of how they lived, but how they are treated by muslims UPON death is reflective of ISLAM..


My idea of death now that I am muslim is so very different to when I was not. I lost my grandfather when I was young, and after that quite a few family members and friends. My best friend passed away from cancer in my last year of schooling. Death was traumatic. When I first reverted to Islam (came to Islam, coverted to Islam), my dear friend and sister, Fathima Moola was ill. She became progressively ill, and told me that as a child her mother had requested she, Fathima, tend to her body upon her demise. Fathima then proceeded to ask me, as "the child she never had" if I would be there to tend to her body when she passed away.  I was shocked!! I couldn't, at the time, imagine anything more horrific. A dead body? And that too of someone I loved?? No, no, no! Seeing my friend in my last year of senior schooling lying in that coffin had been so traumatic, how would I face seeing - no - touching - the body of this dear friend who was like a mother to me? After much rebutting, I had no choice but to agree, thinking she would recover and I wouldn't have to face that anytime soon.

But the time to face my fears came sooner than I thought. Within just over 3 years, Fathima would pass away. I remembered my promise to her, and although I grappled against it, I finally summoned up the courage to call up her sister and told her of my promise.

In Islamic communities, death is a community affair. Deaths are broadcast so that anyone who hears might pray for the one who has passed and the family who stays behind. Anyone who knew the person will usually flock to the place of the "Mayet" (where the goodbyes are said and prayers are done) and in this case the numbers were massive - Fathima was dearly loved.

I drove an hour to the venue of the "ghusl" or body preparation, which to me looked like a hall, and was greeted with as much warmth by the women as always despite the sorrow (if not more). There were no men there, since this was the passing of a woman. I was led, along with a small group of close family, to a room which looked like any "ghusl room". Usually, these rooms have a surgery-type metalic bed with a water catchment area beneath it. The women busied themselves preparing the annoitment water, praying for the deceased. The room filled with the fragrance of (real, not synthetic) myrrh, frankincense, and camphor. In these preparations, usually hot water is poured over the "bed" to ensure the comfort of the deceased, as we muslims believe that the soul hovers near, and the body "feels".

Many things are known concerning the miracles that happen during ghusl, or preparation for burial. It is advised that we not speak of the dead or the events wether good or bad, so for the purposes of this explanation I will limit myself as far as possible to the ritual aspect and my personal feelings. Once the body arrives, only women touch a women's body and only men will touch a man's. The body is gently taken by the family of women or men from its container and placed upon the surgical bed. At this point it is usually still wrapped from the morgue and before it is unwrapped those present put on their surgical gloves and the dear one is covered in soft towels to ensure the privacy of the deceased. All this time, praying is taking place, and those present speak to the deceased as though alive, telling them all the wonderful things they feel about that person, taking the opportunity to say goodbye, sometimes kissing the hands or the face. There's always someone who stays near the face, speaking to the deceased, words of peace and love and kindness.

The wrapping is removed as prayers are recited by all those present, taking great care not to expose the aura of the person. In other words, that which a muslim ought to cover in life, remains covered in death. For a woman, it is the body from neck to ankles to wrists. For a man, it is from the navel to the knee. Working under the towels, the family washes the dear one carefully, with the softest sponges or cloths or their very own hands, gently and respectfully as you would with someone beloved and highly respected. Different prayers are recited as the deceased family member is gently seated up so that the bowels are emptied automatically and the excess washed away with warm water. Only the closest family member will ensure the cleanliness of private parts, and all the time these remain covered. Anyone present is encouraged to look away, respectfully, and to soothe the beloved one with words of kindness, love and respect.

Once thoroughly cleaned (including ears, nose, mouth) and prayers spoken and words of love shared, those present also reminisce with the dear one and sometimes with one another, remembering always the good things, again kindly and with words of love and well wishes. It is time to perfume the dear one and this is done by each person present. Usually, an expert is on hand who takes the lead and guides the family or friends in what and how to perform the ghusl (bath) for burial. Once perfumed, the white sheets known as Kaffan are brought. These are new, crisp, and perfectly white. There are specific instructions for wrapping or shrouding the dear one, and this is where a leader is very helpful. It is important that as the wrapping takes place, no part of the body is exposed which would, in life, be disrespectful to the dear one. The face is left open for a little while whilst goodbyes are said and last prayers are made, asking of Allah that the dear one enter Jannat ul firdous, the highest stations of paradise. Then, the face is closed off, and a woman is covered with an additional sheet to protect any mourners from seeing the shape of her body, a modesty which a muslim woman guards carefully in life.

Taken to what I can only refer to as "the place of goodbyes", the dear one is transported to (usually) the home of a close relative which is large enough to accomodate the volumes of people that will come to pay their respects and still separate women from men, it is laid down on the floor near the closest relatives. Buckets of prayer beads and prayer books are available for visitors, as anyone may come; the only request is for prayer.

A final Salaat is read, known as the Janaazah salaat. You may know muslims pray 5 times a day. These are not prayers of request, but prayers of worship. They are known as "salaat". Simplistically, this is a "final salaat".
An elder or prayer leader will also at some point recite special duahs that are reserved for this occasion, and it is evident from everyone present that this is a time of closure, of goodbyes, of well-wishes with love, kindness and respect. Then, the face is uncovered so that ONLY the family may say their final goodbyes before the dear one is transported in its state of purity and blessed by prayers - by male family members  - to the graveyard and gently lowered to the grave, where the muslim is buried facing Mecca, the place where Abraham (Ibraheem as) first built an altar, the place of pilgrimage, and the direction of all muslim prayers. The spouse may not touch the dear one, but may also say their goodbyes, often and usually held, hugged and loved by those present. Mourning is a time not of solitude but of companionship of fellow muslims, who will come daily to feed, help, love and pray with the family that remains behind.

Until the day we die, no-one present at any ghusl or burial "bath" will discuss the condition of the body or the miracles which happen behind those closed doors (and they DO happen). What I may say, is that it is an experience which cemented in me the reality that THIS is the way I want to "go". THIS is the kindest, sweetest, most loving act of closure and send-off to paradise , insh'Allah, which any human would desire. Non muslims are not permitted in the ghusl bath, as they would not know the prayers, and quite frankly in my opinion having come from a non-muslim background, they may quite simply not be accustomed to the level of self-restraint and kindness that can be shown so someone who is, crudely put, no more.
What I may also say, is that I spent many years seeking closure for the family and friends I lost outside Islam, yet within Islam, I have lost the fear of death as I knew it before. Now, a "corpse" to me is a friend, a dear one, someone once loved, still loved, who'se life and contribution to the lives of others is never forgotten.

When speaking of the dead, one should always speak only of the good - this is Islamic Etiquette. One should avoid speaking ill of the dead.

And so, this year, too, has come to an end. I thank Allah for the goodness in it. I beseech Him to forgive me for any sins committed in it, and I ask of Allah only goodness, victory, and good deeds in the New Year. Not because the deeds get me to heaven, but because I love Allah, I love my Nabi (peace be unto him), and I am humbled to have my eternal salvation in the hand of ONE so beneficent and Merciful as HE who instructed us to treat even the dead with such respect. Ya Allah, have mercy on this poor sinner, use all that I am for YOUR goodness and for kindness, use ALL that I can for illumination of this world filled with such darkness and disrespect, and use ALL that I am to plant seeds of freedom from hurt, from pain, and from fear, insh'Allah, ameen.

May this New Islamic Year set right the affairs that need righting, remove that which needs removing, bring that which needs bringing, and bring freedom of hearts and minds to prostrate before the Creator. Submission, is freedom, you ask? Well, if the above does not depict freedom from fear, from sadness, from anxiety, from loneliness, and it refers to DEATH, then what is it, if you are not muslim, that you may be missing of the many beauties of ISLAM that refer to LIFE?

Subhannallah!! La Ilaha Il Allah. Oh Allah convey peace and blessings and my humblest salaams to your Nabi, who brought to us such a level of kindness in every aspect of our life. Death, is humbling, but it needn't be frightening.

"I am not gone, I have just stepped into another room".

I dedicate this post to my beloved friend, sister, mother figure and teacher, Fathima Moola. May Allah LOVE her always and BLESS her always, and SHOWER her with all the joy and blessings HE can, and may HE grant her the company of the saints of Islam, and the friendship and companionship of the one she treasured so much in almost continuous durood, our Prophet and the final messenger of our beloved Creator, Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him)..