Seeking answers

 

 

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

If you've ever made up a 1000 piece puzzle before, you will recognise the feeling of looking at that plain "blue" piece of plain "grey piece" and thinking "well, what's the point of this thing, it's boring and how the heck am I gonna find a connection for it." If you're anything like me, you'll toss it back in the box with irritation and comment to whoever's with you "i don't know why they give us so many plain, dull pieces with legs that fit nowhere. It's SO annoying!" What I then typically do is put those into a separate tub and forget about them, just because they are annoying! But after much glee with the fun bits and many "hooray I found one!" I finally sit and look back at the picture and usually there's something missing - a tower, or that little piece of sky that lies just out of reach of that appleblossom - it blocks me from seeing the beauty in the puzzle. Sometimes one of the missing pieces is the tip of the gravel pathway in the garden that leads to the house, or its that annoying little bit that connects the lighthouse to the light. I search and search and just can't find it!! Have you had that experience?

That's when I pull out my tub of "rejects".. lol.. and I start trying one piece after another. This way and that, turn and press. And sure enough, there it is!! There's the light I had, but now it's beaming from the lighthouse! There's the pathway and the garden, but now if I were a tiny little person I could walk from the garden to the house. Suddenly, the picture makes full sense. And its not because of the pretty bits; its because of the dull, grey or blue or PLAIN bits. It's because of the irritating bits that took me AGES to fit.

I have found that it is the same with life. I have had some jobs in which I wondered "what on earth am I doing here!" I've had friendships that ended badly and I've thought "Why on earth did I ever trust that person." For istance, about 13 years ago I had a boss that was so abusive to his staff members that one committed suicide, two ended up institutionalised and one is still on anti-depression medication. He was a controling megalomaniac of such bullying tactics that it destroyed a number of people. It nearly broke me to work for this awful man. He played everyone up against everyone, and wreaked havoc because of his own controling behaviour. Classic Bipolar, Narcissistic personality. I was glad when I eventually resigned and I'll be glad if I never cross paths with this individual again, may Allah grant him Hidaya and grant me forgiveness for saying so. I left -  integrity intact and sanity clinging on like a cat to a curtain.

So years late, 2012 -  I couldn't understand why things weren't going very well in my current job at one point. After my duahs I would often find myself remembering this ogre of a boss from the past and I wondered if I was perhaps supposed to take a lesson and walk out of my current position; (Allah knows I wanted to even if I couldn't afford to!!) One day, at my desk, almost in tears I asked "Ya Allah, what is it? Is this another "Mr Idiot" place?? I started recalling my old boss' worst comment. "Youre never going to get anywhere in life because you dont know how to create and USE a circle of influence." Arrogant bastard, I thought; making friends with people just to use them (which in his case, he did alot). But the thought kept coming back. And guess what?

I looked around my current job and colleagues and I made a list of problems I was facing with clients or processes. I then made a list of who I could go to for advice. I made a list of who I deal with, on a regular basis. I noticed that VERY few people on my list of regulars were 'influential' - but those that were, are very, very influencial. I also noticed that these are the people I can probably learn the most from in terms of our product and the best way, historically, to deal with our clients.

Husby, again, suggested I try to find out if there was anything I didn't know and should know..I determined to find out what there was to learn.

I started to look out for questions I could ask. I looked at the various client issues and approached one or two of those people to find out how they would deal with it.

And guess what I learnt? I learnt that in most instances I was approaching the problem the right way. So WHY was I still remembering that "Mr Idiot"s words? I asked Husby, of course, and shared with him the problems I was having at work. In his wisdom (Husby dearest is very wise alhamdolilah) he said - "babes, if you keep encountering a particular difficulty, you must've missed a message from Allah at some point; a lesson of some kind. Only you will know what that is, but I'll make duah and you do the same (pray)." hmm..

Anyway, one day, out of the blue last year, I was asked to do something by one of the people who I'd approached. Something for which I usually do not have authority and something rather high level. I wondered why they'd asked me! I kept going back to them to pick their brain on various other issues and started to realise that there are a few things (MANY, lol) that I actually still have to learn about the company and the work that I do.  Increasingly, I was being asked to participate in projects outside my comfort zone and was then offered a position in a completely different area, which I accepted.

It all happened so fast!

But How?

Well, I'd created a "circle of influence" without knowing it!!

What did I learn?
1) every onece in a while, you will meet people who hurt you. KNOW when its time to walk away and don't feel bad about it. Life's too short to spend it working or living with someone who tears you down.
2) Allah can use ANYone to teach you something valuable. because it is Allah who puts them there for a reason - including those you leave behind
3)Every trial indeed comes with two reliefs (as the Holy Quran says) - I now have great teachers and a challenging, although difficult, job.
4) ASK questions, SEEK help. If you're doing things right, you'll be pleased you asked. If you're doing things wrong, you'll have an opportunity to do it right. Start with those you love, who love you, and who you know to be wise.
5) PRAY - PRAY - PRAY - life trials plant the lesson, people's advice will trigger the germination of that lesson, but prayer will ACTIVATE the OPPORTUNITY to grow

6) Most important lesson? Keep Allah in everything, not in a side box for prayer times only, and not in among the difficult bits so that you only talk to him during times of difficulty. Because all the grey, difficult, horrible little bits or life experience have a purpose if you're open to the lesson. WALK away from the bad people, and cut away those who break you down, but NEVER overlook the smallest lesson.

Life is made of up moments. Every moment is a lesson, every moment is an opportunity. And the owner of all these moments is ALLAH. Alhamdolilah.

Thank you, angel, for always listening..

In summary I give thanks to my Lord and Creator who is always able to bring relief. Ameen.

And yes...
 thank you angel for listening...