I had a dream..

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


Muslim or not, sometimes life runs away with you, and whilst you go about ibaada searching for Allah, sometimes we forget that to remember his messenger (pbuh) is to find yet another door to the Creator. I read about our beloved nabi(pbuh) again yesterday, and it took me back to the early days of my search, before I came to Islam, when I had so many quesions. I wanted to know the truth, because I no longer found in me what used to be my truth, you understand?

For every revert, there comes this day, I think. That day when you find yourself in suspended animation, unable to go back to what you've always held as comfort and spiritual belief, simply because it is no longer there. You cannot be convicted of it anymore because the very foundations of it have simply disappeared. A dark night of the soul, a spiritual culmination in which you truly NEED to know what is instead of what is generally believed, what IS versus what you've been taught, what you've held to be so with great conviction despite its lack of evidence. In those days, I had 3 dreams, which I will not share, but yesterday's return to the Prophet(pbuh) (and how simplistic a name is that for what he truly IS).. led me to remember just one moment in time. I'd like to share that today, in the form of a poem.

Before you think me blasphemous, it is important to remember that our Nabi (saw) was created for all of creation, a light unto the world. Let those who wish to look into that statement deeper do so, for I have only touched upon the skirt of that journey's beginning and I am left in awe..

I've called this poem simply, BELOVED, because that is our Nabi(saw). To us, muslims, and to Allah (swt) Creator of ALL that is and was and evermore shall be. If anything is given to you through this poem on a spiritual or intellectual level, I ask ALLAH to reward Muhammad (saw) for that tiny grain, and to ALLAH be all the glory. Insh'Allah and ameen..

BELOVED

I had a dream..

In which we sat beside the waters clear, the stream of life,

The laughter of the rippling water as it tumbled over polished forms

The silence of the moment rings, still, within my heart

The timbre bell of that peace resounding, gently, within my soul

I had a dream..

In which I stood and waited as a bride yet to meet her sweet betrothed,

And then, when I looked up, I saw your frame

Your steps that walked with quiet confidence,

Descending from heaven's clouds

As though the air itself held its breath that you may tread upon it’s dreams..

I had a dream,

And in that dream you smiled..

And in that moment both the sun and moon bowed low

Ashamed of their own light before your own

Ashamed of their own love before your own

Shy as a lover, standing naked on her first blessed night of union

Oh how I dreamed,

And how I fell in love with you,

Seated on that little bank beside the stream of life..

Filled throughout with the knowing of your presence

That presence filled with all the mysteries of the universe before it breathed its first day or night..

That presence filled with the light upon light and love upon love

Of a Creator I could not begin to know or understand

How could I know HIM?

How could I begin to encompass a little of HIS friendship,

When seated beside his closest companion it was as though my heart lay open,

like broken drawers of an empty chest yearning for just one more smile..

Oh how I dreamed..

And how I fell in love with you..

Oh blessed soul;

 who’s fragrance’s search still fills my every dream and waking moment since!

Oh blessed messenger;

who brought to this ragged, poor and wretched soul a touch of life,

Oh blessed messenger;

who’s love is such that your blessed feet did walk,

For the love of YOUR beloved,

That greatest stretch of eternal sky, from complete rest and peace,

 just to sit with me.

Quietly.

Beside a stream.

So that I may feel, just once, the breath of heavens possibility,

So that I may take, from your beloved hand in which all of creation sits recorded,

One tiny key..

One promise..

The answer to my "Purpose" in this dry and dusty road..

Yours then, and mine today…

ALLAH

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